That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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