I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
