My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
