walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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