someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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