The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
