that's an acceptable place to lick
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Enjoy the penises
we're so committed to being not committed
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
