lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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