guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
But theres a keg here and me gusta
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
