so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
