yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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