Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
