Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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