Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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