I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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