After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
