I'm really into asian looking animals
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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