She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
