Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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