So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
