Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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