matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
