What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
