4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I would fuck him just for his dog
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