he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Randomize
