i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
