forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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