the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
