i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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