But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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