like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
