i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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