my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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