I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
