worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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