I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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