Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
