There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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