Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
