I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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