Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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