he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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