I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
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