I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
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