when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
40s are totally the cure
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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