You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
