And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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