the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
