Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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