you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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