Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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